Psychology of Gossip

Dr Ajit Bhagwat

“Man is a social animal,” said Aristotle. He meant humans like to be in a group and enjoy spending time together doing anything that they love. Talking to each other is one such important activity. Dictionary meaning of gossip is “conversations about other person’s private life that can be unkind, disapproving or untrue!” However, a broader and more pertinent definition of gossip is “talking about a person in his absence!’’ The opposite of gossip is gospel. As commonly believed, gossip is not necessarily evil or malicious. It can be positive, negative or neutral.

1. Positive gossip: It is also called pro-social gossip. Say person “A” has a bad reputation and person “B” is about to deal with him. If “B” is your friend, you can tell him about what you know about “A.” This can save “B” from getting into trouble while dealing with “A.” Such gossip is done with an honest intention and can serve a larger purpose of preventing harm to someone you wish well for.

2. Neutral gossip: This is purely sharing information that has no positive or negative effect. For example, sharing an interesting story about how a friend got conned by some fraudster on social media. This type of gossip could be harmless, entertaining and even informative.

3. Negative gossip: This type of gossip is perhaps the most sensational. It is also defined as “A negative that is shared with someone who can’t solve the problem!’’ One of the main reasons people engage in such gossip is that it provides a sense of social bonding. When people share information about others, they feel like they are part of a group and are more likely to be accepted by that group. Gossip can also be a way to establish social hierarchy, with those who have more information or better information being viewed as more important or influential. Negative gossip can be hurtful, damaging and dangerous! It can damage reputation, relationships and character resulting in conflict and even violence! Moreover, gossip can be seen as a form of bullying or harassment. When rumours are spread about someone, they can feel intimidated, isolated, and vulnerable. Gossip can also reinforce stereotypes and perpetuate discrimination and prejudice. A three pronged questionnaire is useful when one is tempted to indulge in a gossipy conversation 1. Is it definitely true? 2. Is it kind to the person? 3. Is it beneficial to anyone? If answer to any of these is “no,” just shut up!