Why Are Men Victims of Mental and Physical Harassment In Marriages: Explained

A software engineer from Bangalore recently committed suicide, leaving behind a letter addressed to his wife. This tragic incident has once again ignited heated debates on the subject of gender equality and the perception that laws are biased in favor of women. On social media, a growing sentiment suggests, “If women want equality in all aspects, why should the laws be in their favor?” But what does the reality look like when we engage with the Women’s Rights Protection Committee?

The First Question: Is There Really Injustice to Men?
Among the cases reported to, around 18-20% indicate that men face injustice. This percentage was much lower a decade ago, but it has definitely increased in recent years. However, the number of men claiming to be victims of injustice or harassment is higher than this percentage suggests.

Main Causes of Injustice to Men

• Extramarital Affairs in Married Women: The incidence of extramarital affairs among married women appears to be rising, which often leaves the husband devastated. Many men cannot openly speak about their wives’ affairs due to societal stigma, where men are blamed for not being able to “control” their wives. This creates immense emotional pressure on men.
• Legal Threats by the Wife or Her Family: Although less frequent, there are cases where wives or their families threaten men with legal action. This issue has been increasing, and the slow-moving judicial system exacerbates it. Even when a man has done nothing wrong, the lengthy and cumbersome legal process can bring immense stress to his family.
• Physical Abuse by the Wife: Though rare, instances of women physically abusing their husbands do occur. In some cases, women claim they were simply defending themselves against their husband's abuse. However, there are situations where women are the ones who physically abuse their husbands.

Other Causes of Injustice to Men:

Conflict Between Wife and Mother-In-Law: Many men find themselves caught between their wife and mother-in-law, especially when the two do not get along. If the husband fails to take a firm stand, the situation remains unresolved, often causing significant stress for him.

Expectations of Adjustment from the Wife: In cases of family issues, there’s often an expectation that the wife will adjust. If she refuses, the husband may feel wronged. However, the wife might also feel victimized, and this issue can only be resolved through mature and balanced discussion.

Interference from the Wife’s Family: In some cases, the wife’s family may interfere too much in the couple’s life, leading to conflict. While interference from the wife’s family is often seen as acceptable, similar involvement from the husband's family is viewed as meddling. The solution lies in both families respecting the couple’s privacy.

Women as Earners: Women who are the primary earners in their families may make financial decisions independently, sometimes supporting their parents. This can make men feel marginalized. Ideally, both partners should contribute to household expenses, especially when both are working. If a wife refuses to use her earnings for the household, it can create a sense of injustice.

Physical Relationship Issues: Occasionally, a wife may refuse to have a physical relationship with her husband, which can cause marital problems. If the wife is genuinely dissatisfied, counseling should be sought. However, if she uses this as a weapon, the issue needs to be addressed accordingly.

Also Read: Atul Subhash suicide: Accused sent to 14-day judicial custody

While men do experience injustice in certain situations, and sometimes feel wronged due to traditional thinking, the number of cases where men face injustice is significantly lower than that of women. However, even a small percentage of injustice towards men should be acknowledged, and these men should receive the necessary support and justice. In any marriage, it’s important to remember that issues are rarely one-sided.